There are certain situations in life that one cannot control. During those times, one just has to go with the flow. These situations might not be right, you may know that what you are doing at that point of time may not be the right thing to do, but you have no control over them. What do you do during such situations? Just, close your eyes and go through them. And afterwards, do not judge yourself by what you did or what the situation made you do.
We often get into guilt trips, taking excessive responsibilities on our head by being emotional about the situation. We never take into account the part played by the other party involved in such cases. For us, our involvement, our mistake become supreme and we continue to reel under them. Why do so? Why not be practical and understand that what happened at that point of time involved two people or two parties and not just you.
People who are independent, who are strong and free, do not require any adherence to anyone. They are what they are. They give a damn to things. But, it is this giving damn that drags them down, because others cannot tolerate such free spirits. Often, people get attracted to such spirited individuals and want to keep them with themselves or want to extract reactions out of them. They create such situations wherein these individuals become vulnerable and susceptible to faltering into the traps set for them. And no matter how strong they are, or how much control they possess, they fail and fail miserably.
Only thing, stop blaming yourself. Yes, you knew better, but you still did such a thing. Remember, the other person also knew what he/she was making you do, so it never is your fault entirely. Relax, certain situations in life need to be endured, we need to go through them, even when you like them or dislike them. They are here to stay and you would have to go through them time and again. Yes, such situations would come often. Maybe with practice, a day may come when you would be able to control your mind, desires, anger, frustrations, loneliness, and all such human weaknesses which make you vulnerable and finally you will be like the wind that can never be bottled up!