Why is there a need for constant reassurances? Why do we always run to people to seek shelter in their arms? Why are we struggling against odds to be comforted by another human being?
We do all these because we are not whole in ourselves. We are incomplete in our own being, and we look for others to fill that gap. But, in doing so, we forget that, that gap is in us and not in them and therefore, it can only be filled by us and nobody else. Unless we are whole in ourselves, we can never expect to find true happiness. The itch towards running at something would continue to torment us.
So, what should one do? Simple, stop this chase, stop trying to be what someone else wants you to be, stop being a doormat at someone’s whim, stop believing that without another person in your life you would be incomplete, alone, stop thinking that someone else would help you fill that void in your life.
Look within, you will find that light which will guide you home. When you become whole in yourself, you will experience a magical moment and in that moment you will see the truth. It will dissolve all your insecurities, your irrationalities, the chaos in your life, and somewhere you would find yourself admiring the many wonders of life. And who knows, at that juncture you may find the one you were searching for so long.
As Bukowski has once famously said:
your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
Yes, your life is your life, do not let anyone or anything dictate you.